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13:28:00 03 February 2007
There's a saying that goes like this, "If you love someone, When it's time to let go, You'll have to let go. Doing it is not as easy as the saying goes, but one way or another you just have to do it. Well coming to almost 3 years of relationship taught me alot of things. I did things that I myself never done to anyone before. Sacrifices been made out of love. Loving someone whole-heartedly without really having any bad intentions at the back of my head like I used to with my previous relationships. Getting to know her family members and started to feel like I'm one of theirs. It's been almost a month that we broke up, and I've yet to pick up the broken pieces of my life. Well, good to know that she's doing good. Perfectly fine without me. Sometimes I just wanna leave her alone and not bugging her with my messages or my calls. I wanna respect her decision. I wanna give her the space and time she needed. I don't want her to be in a confusing state. But there's just too many questions that are left unanswered in my head. At times, I have the thinking that all the hard work I put to mould her into someone better was never really meant for me, but someone else. You people will know the pain if ya'll have already experience it. Yes, things happen for a reason. Until now I don't see the true reason. Well, if someone is not meant for you, he/she is just not meant for you. No matter how much u think that he/she didn't think that deep, It simply won't change a thing! Simple as that. No matter how hard you work for it but the questions are still left unanswered. I guess you have to go on with life with question marks on your forehead. I can't forever be her guardian angel. Which path she chooses after this, that's her life. I'm just on the verge of...giving in and letting go. If that what she wants. Now..I will. Loving you is hard, Letting go is twice as hard. Maybe your happiness is with someone else. Someone better who can give you more than what i can afford to give you. I am no longer that person you looked up to. Just that I wish you didn't exists in my life at an early stage. If I could turn back the hands of time, I would love to change alot of things. No regrets having you. Do take care...Nur Ainni.