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13:19:00 08 June 2008
It still pains me to hear people talking about the boating accident. I could have lost 10 of my family members. Coming from a close-knitted family, I could never imagine if the accident had turned out that way. Losing Abah has already been devastating. One too many. "Because of you, my dearest uncle, who had protect them and given instructions throughout the ordeal."
My silence or my laughter does not mean that his death does not affects me. It does not mean I do not pray for him. He means as much to me as to everyone else. He held a special place in everyone hearts and only I know where he stood and will forever stand in mine.
Otherwise, why would I be crying everytime there is a prayer gathering for him?
Why does dark sea water terrifies me?
Perhaps he knew I miss him too much and came in my dream about a few days ago.
He went as silently as he had came. Without a word. Yet smiling.
While I was shouting and raising my hands for him.
I do not know how long it will take me to get in terms with his death. It is hard. As hard as the moment I just found out.
If only I had called you to hear your voice.
If only you had came over my house as planned.
I miss you and will never stop missing you, Abah. And I will always be your 'Wayang Cina'
In Loving Memory of
Love, your patience and strengths gives me faith and courage to smile again.
-Idah-