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Resources: N-serendipity. kisses.away nutzzzzz xoxo
10:33:00 13 January 2009
When you are at your best, sometimes u tend to forget your lowest.
Found out from Ibu yest that one of my uncle whom I called 'Ayah Besar' is getting pretty bad. He is suffering from cancer and has to go chemo but for the past three days, he was feeling pain all over. Aqilah, my closest cousin- his daughter, must be feeling pretty crushed right now. And me, honestly, I cant deal with any more heart pain due to sickness and death. We are still trying our best to hide away the pain of losing Abah especially during family gatherings. His presence is truly missed. Just a few days back when all of us were at Nenek's house, I almost asked Umi where Abah was. When reality hits, a huge lump formed in my throat and I choked back on my words. She simply said in a calm voice , "Idah lupa ke?" - You forgot? She then patted me on my head.
On the other hand,
My maternal grandparents are both now bed-ridden and is staying at Lok Heng- a kampung in Malaysia with my mother's eldest brother. When my mum visited them, me and my sis could not tag along as there was not enough space for us in the car. Mum said "Nenek betul2 nak jumpa kakak ngan adik. Dia kata bawaklah cucu2 aku datang sebelum aku takda."-Granny really wants to meet you both. She said, bring my granddaughters to meet me before Im gone.
Im not ready to lose anyone at the moment. Please give me time.
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I value people who keeps to their words and stay true to them. Simply because you said it out of your own will.
Its very simple to win my heart and my loyalty will be to you guys always but if broken, i might never see you guys the same way again.